holiday defined

fancy thank you notes have flooded my doors.  someone trained them well.  in my thoughts i am so thankful, but then life invades all good intentions of formalizing such thoughts.

with each post-mailed card i've felt a little more pressure (self imposed) to return a heartfelt thanks.  so.  here is an attempt to turn these images into some kind of meaningfulness.  some kind of love.  some picture of how much i appreciate the ones so often sought after through my lens.

for me, the word holiday is defined in many ways...but mostly it is a time to be grateful for the many things with which God has blessed us, the greatest of these being the gift of his Son.  here are some of my many blessings...

sibling love.

long mornings and endless pots of coffee.  

note to self: must have as many mugs as coffee drinkers.

surprises.

a bit of feisty holiday drama, red sweaters or otherwise...

grampy on his best behavior.

no drama from him this time,

at least not during the four-day festivities.

gram.  great gram.  mom.  to all.

cousins.

heroes.

super heroes.

slippers.

knowing that there is always someone who will 

know how to make it work...usually with more patience

than we have.

golf umbrellas.  for the clubs.  i'm sure i represent 

someone who is thankful for these gadgets.

sing-song laughter.

naps.

competitive games.

jewels.

kissable cheeks.

traditions.  new and old.  and kissable cheeks.

special birthdays.

define holiday. 

it's not the date on the calendar.

it's not the decor.

it's where your family is.

so the next time you are with your loved ones...

celebrate.

make it a holiday.

lost count, running lost

hi.  long time.  sorry.  i've missed you, my faithful.  thank you for coming back to visit.

a lot has been going on...will try to post an update soon.

this post is a lesson in finding the gift in the unexpected.  i trust you will be able to relate, or at least find it amusing.

in short, there is not much time for little 'ol me in the 24 hour cycle that insists upon remaining constant.  so. when the opportunity crept up for a run this morning i grabbed it.  i also grabbed the ipod (complete with a revised playlist) and my phone (for safety--in case of emergency--mine or otherwise.)

the playlist.  (the most important part)
it was optimistic to say the least. 46:13.  after about the seventh song i did have a short conversation with myself about wasting precious time..."there is no way you are going to get this far so just get moving" is just a snippet of the self-talk...

the warmup.
2cellos.  if you haven't listened to them, find them here.  play it loud.  (pause the music at the bottom of this page first.)

the first leg.
the first leg went by without mishap...dodging school buses and garbage cans.  i set the playlist for two longish (translated two, 8 minute) runs and then two minute runs with walks in between.  (i might need to translate that as well:  run the first two minutes of each song, walk the rest of the song--yes, i know this is not how real runners do it.)

the second leg.
this is the country (a.k.a. jason aldean) portion of my playlist.  i made it through the first song, "crazy town", and felt the wall coming...the one that makes you think your legs might not hold you up much longer.  (fyi. 19:24)  more self talk blahs.  then two things happened.  the song changed (just in time) and i found a paved trail.

the second leg...second song.
this is worthy of a second section.

the song is she's country.  (yes, amusing.)  if you have time, click the link, listen to the first few bars, and pretend you are out of wind.  i think you'll see why pretending you are a "bad mama jamma" or a "ragin' cajun" would give you just the boost you need.  perhaps you would even call it 'gift'.  i did...at least unofficially. (i put this link in here especially for you, sister, so don't miss it.)

back to the run.  so, i'm off grid.  no idea where this path is leading, but it's paved and the song has inspired my legs to keep moving.  so i do.

grace gift #1 (officially)
about this time my phone falls through the bottom, (translated tightest part), of my running bra.  hmm.  guess i picked the one from 25 pounds ago.  (can't throw it away...it's pink.)  you may have missed the gift because you couldn't mentally can't get past where i stashed my phone...ahem...stay with me.  it feels good to run without the extra movement bouncing along with me.  this is a special gift because my biggest cheerleader, (translated prayer warrior), in this back-to-health endeavor has been gram.  it doesn't get much better than that.  thank you, slippery, sweaty phone.

grace gift #2
it's trash day.  i dread running on trash day.  do you know how lovely it is to breath, (translated huff and puff), trash smells on a run?  yes, well, my second gift was noticed as i was dodging a garbage truck.  (he did wave at least.)  the trashy smells were suspiciously absent.  yes, i'm counting this one.  praise God.

grace gift #3
just as the new song energy was wearing off, i received another gift.  long morning shadows offered a peak at a pony tail bouncing merrily, back-and-forth off the pavement.  it looked way more energetic than i felt, but it did get me to the next portion of my run.  (which, blessedly, was a short walk.  i'm counting the peppy pony tail and not the walking part as gift, since this is a "run" but the walk also felt like a gift...unofficially.)

the worship leg...
i think this is the portion of the run that God truly poured on me this morning.  if not for the detour, (translated gift #4-8), this portion of the playlist would have long been gone.  long gone.

the first song was an 80s classic by journey, which was appropriate for this section of my run because, at this point, i still had not found my way back to my main route.  God and i were chuckling as i was listening to "don't stop believing".  (for a blast from the past, click here.  you know you want to.)

the next four songs (before i had to walk the rest of the way home) were simply a gift of worship.  perhaps not the most amusing part, but definitely the most gratifying.

my ultimate favorite is below (perhaps you also will receive it as gift...a grace gift).  you can listen here or just read most of the lyrics offered below...my heart will sing by silers bald.  wouldn't it be great to shout this out on a run?

you're the river, you're the life

you're the giver, of everything that's right

but my words are weary, they'll never do

my heart is ready, is made to worship you

my lips cannot describe you, but my heart will sing

my mind cannot define you, but my heart will sing

my eyes cannot behold the precious beauty of your face

but still my heart will sing of your grace

your grace is shining down on me

your love is falling down on me

your hope is shining down on me

on me, on me

i had a vision of a home

with every memory of love i've ever known

it was the morning of the life to come

i saw the glory of he who overcomes

my lips cannot describe you, but my heart will sing

my mind cannot define you, but my heart will sing

my eyes cannot behold the precious beauty of your face

but still my heart will sing of your grace

your grace is shining down on me

your love is falling down on me

your hope is shining down on me

on me, on me

i enjoyed counting gifts with you this morning.  in honor of my lifegroup girls, the "list" of all that needs doing was set aside this morning.  probably one of them was praying.  another gift.
  

pruning lends beauty...after the pain

ugly words.

not the proud moments of a momma.

...of a wife.

tears...drama.

i'm sorry.

i look back and wonder who spoke the words that just emptied from my mouth? my heart broken for the hurt i see in eyes like mine...in eyes i look up to.

how to fix what can't be undone?

i've blown it...again.

will i ever reflect the Christ in me? will i ever get it right?

perhaps i need to be pruned like so many of the sad looking bushes and trees around our house. a bit of a hair cut. no, that won't do. more like chopped back to the knees. emptied of all apparent life. a new start.

all the color taken out. every corner of the heart laid at the cross.

a humble removing of the trash. a plea for forgiveness.

and there is a lot of ugly to prune.

left to be picked up and eternally forgotten...as far as the east is to the west.

a heart laid bare. hopeful that renewal will come.

a desperate prayer...

for slowness to anger...

an abounding of love...

a download of compassion and grace to the heart.

a filling of Christ that will, in turn, be poured out.

the mind knows this is not the end, even while the heart breaks.

and then the melody breaks through. the key changes.

hope springs through the barrenness of yesterday.

what once bloomed will bloom again. truly?

a glorious promise of blessing shining through the ugly, the hard.

"the trials of this life are His mercies in disguise."

help me find the faith to believe the blessing in every disappointment, in every ache, through all the tears, even in drought...

this post is another lesson in finding 1000 gifts:

• the gift of "i'm sorry"
• psalm 103
• the trumpet of grace playing loud through my doubt
• a successful trash day
• "blessings" by laura story (you'll want to press pause below to play this...)

a study of laundry

"it looks like a television mom!"

i'm thinking, "great, cancel the cable!" if only it covered the sports channel...

i thought that the newness had worn off. after all, it's been more than a year in our midst.

laundry. this is one show that i just don't get. and yet, there she is. doing homework of all things! the sound is consistent, comforting somehow. the end never failing to chime cheerfully, reminding that the job is not yet finished. folding...ugh.

i know blessings come in many forms. i've known this seemingly forever. haven't you? isn't it common sense? i think, subconsciously, that i've even been aware that they come from God.

these days, i'm paying closer attention to gifts from the eternal Giver. gifts that speak loudly of love. His love. for me.

perhaps i'm moving away from what was once common knowledge...especially with laundry as the backdrop. perhaps i need to relearn it, embrace it, keep it closely against my heart.

always in a lesson, my eyes are opening to such, often overlooked, gifts. (...or buried gifts as the case may be with laundry.) recently, keeping track of the gifts has become really important to me. the project has awakened and renewed the common thought, transformed it into the profound.

the laundry into love gifts.

Lord, thank you for the laundry.

thank you for the willing hands, rarely urged, that help decrease the mountains. thank you for the friendly chime, sometimes long after her little head is on the pillow...not forgotten, those willing hands. thank you for the piles and piles! so high and far reaching is His love, reminding me gently, constantly, that i am not alone. all lonely is buried deep.



if you are looking for some encouraging, growing, beautiful moments, i highly recommend reading "1000 gifts" by ann voscamp. it will have you looking at life through clearer lenses, turning the common into profound, the laundry into a gift.

bookends

i never had cousins growing up, so when my sister and i got pregnant within two months of each other, (her first, my last), we were so excited about the prospect of our kids having cousins that were so close in age.  over the last couple of years, as we've started to see the two of them become friends, i am more and more thankful for God's timing...even though i had to wait 30 years...and i still don't have a cousin.   i have a niece, and a nephew too, that i appreciate so much.

usually, when i think of "the cousins" it is the two girls who are so close in age that come to mind.  or our nephews on the other side of the family, who are closer in age to madeline and connor.  but recently, i discovered something perhaps even more sweet.  

last weekend, we had a spur-of-the-moment moseley family gathering.  there wasn't a birthday to celebrate, a holiday around the corner, or even a reason to gather.  we just got together...just because.  it was great.  the kids watched a movie.  the adults sat around the dining room table and talked for 2+ hours.  at one point, i looked into the living room and garrett, the oldest, (a recent teenager, complete with cell phone,) was sitting in the recliner with caroline, the baby of the group.  it was one of those moments. unfortunately, a camera would have ruined the moment, even if it were nearby.

not so with this bookend moment.  

sometimes it's the less obvious blessings, the ones that you aren't expecting, that mean the most.  as we head into this season of thankfulness i encourage you to find your, (perhaps less obvious,) bookend blessings.  

it's a GOD thing!

i just love it when i know for sure and certain that i’m just where God wants me. it doesn’t happen often—with such certainty, complete with God bumps.

i’ve been following angie's blog for quite a while now. she is the wife of todd, singer with selah, and has a beautiful story along with some pretty amazing insight on her blog. angie has decided to do a book club on her blog and she's chosen "crazy love" by francis chan. not coincidentally, this is the book that we had picked out for our life group this fall. we won't be doing it with our life group, but it is going to be just the book that God wants ME to read this fall. perhaps you will join me on angie's blog and read with me.